Assumicide: That’s a word I discovered this week. It’s what happens when you make false assumptions about others so that you can portray them in a bad light…often, the worst light possible.
We are so prone to be suspicious. When things don’t go our way, it’s easy to begin finding evidence that someone did us wrong. It’s quite remarkable, isn’t it? how often we are quick to assume that someone has it in for us.
Assumicide leads to the death of relationships because we end up believing the worst about someone. We’ve all been guilty of drawing wrong conclusions on the basis of tiny scraps of evidence:
I think he planned this all along!
I think she’s trying to ignore me.
He’s probably a jerk at home too
She’s just so full of herself.
On the other hand, if you are the victim of assumicide, it’s very hard to fight back against false assumptions. Few things hurt more than being misunderstood by close friends...or people you have trusted.
It almost always starts over something relatively small. From a tiny spark of discontent…a mighty flame of unhappiness grows. That flame soon becomes a wildfire that threatens to destroy a relationship, a business arrangement, a church, or a family.
When that happens we discover a lot about ourselves. How we respond when we’ve been maligned or misunderstood tells us a great deal about our Christian faith.